i didn't get into this planning to play it safe ... that's why i took such a risk in the first place...
after breaking up with kristina, it took me a while to figure out what i really wanted ... i wanted to learn how to fall in love again ... the way a young boy falls in love for the first time ... i wanted to feel the euphoria of butterflies in my stomach ... that strange yet comforting sensation of a warm feeling all over my body ... i wanted to get my knees weak, my voice shaky, my palms clammy with a bead of sweat running down the side of my head ... i wanted to be head over heals in love ...
i know its dangerous to meet people over the net, but i've been talking to this girl for a while now ... i've read her online diaries, i've even talked to her on the phone ... and she seems real ... when i talk to her it seems real, when i hear her laughing with her sisters it seems real, when i hear her arguing with her mom it seems real ... when i read her letters to me they seem real, when i read her online diary entries about me they seem real, when i hear her say how she's completely fallen for me it seems real ... and although everyone keeps telling me that there's still a possibility that it may not be real ... i know it is - i believe it is ... how can i not?
the guys keep bringing up what might happen when we finally meet ... of course it won't be the same as chatting over the net or talking over the phone ... well to be honest, that's what makes this ride so wild isn't it? ... that's what makes this experience so exciting ... so new and fantastic, so crazy ... i won't know what to expect, everything's going to be a big surprise to me ... i love it ...
and they say what if, appearance-wise she's not all that? ... well, what we've formed over the past two weeks is incredible ... it is a strong emotional bond and an intellectual connection that has made her beautiful in my mind already ... i don't need to see her to know that she's beautiful, and nothing can change that ... and besides, isn't that physical stuff just "the kind of superficiality that is the poison of today's society?" ...
but the most important point however ... is the fact that i have fallen in love, and although i want to wait to tell her i love her, she knows how i feel ...
i want to wait until we actually meet to tell her i love her, so i can look straight into her eyes when i say it ... i want to get lost in those eyes ... i want to hold her in my arms, her head against my chest as our bodies press against each other ... i want to stroke her hair as i inhale the sweet fragrance of it and get enchanted ... i want to look into her eyes again, be face to face with her and then place my lips on hers ... i want to taste her, as the euphoric sensation tingles and warms my body again, only this time overwhelming me with the taste of bliss ... then that's when i want to tell her ... that i love her ...
even right now i am intoxicated by the thought of her ... oh angel, oh my angel ... hearing your voice serenading me tonight ... i can only wait until that sweet voice of yours is manifested before me by the sight of a stunningly radiant woman that i believed i could only imagine in my dreams ...
i am so anxious, so impatient to finally meet you ... i feel like i can't wait to see you, but i must ... and that teases me so much - it drives me crazy ... crazy for you ...
if they say abscence makes the heart grow fonder ... then every moment that passes by until we meet shall drive me to the point where i am completely in love with you ...
i miss you ... but juss thinking about you fills my heart with such happiness, and my mind with a soothing calm
how i can't wait to see you ... and how i'll keep thinking of how amazing that experience will be when we finally do ...
oh my angel
